Confessions from Donna Bennum

Donna sent me the following letter addressed to the people she knew during her time as a teacher in the cult. I’m publishing it here to help her reach out to them, whether they are still in the SCOC or not. Wow, thank you Donna. This took a lot of courage–the spirit of Christ is very evident in your life.

Confessions from Donna Bennum

Confessions concerning those I sinned against while a member of a specific sect of the church of Christ, from January 1978 through August 2014.

I was baptized into this sect in January 1978 in Des Moines, Iowa. My husband (Bill Bennum) and I, we’re married in April,1978. We were sent out to help grow a congregation in 1981, to Springfield, Il. We were there for ten years. From there we moved to Decatur, Il. We were there for a year before we were sent to Erie, PA. We lived in Erie, Pa and Girard, PA. for three and a half years. We moved back to Des Moines, then to Oxnard, CA., then back to Des Moines, IA.

I mention the locations for the mere reference of those congregation I served in. Most of those years I served in the capacity of a teacher, and often as a counselor. I affected many members, families, non-members, and children of members.

For anyone that I adversely affected by my pride, and oppression, and judgements I made against them- I ask your forgiveness. I lifted myself up in pride when I was found in favor with the older teachers. I detest who I became!

Please forgive me for teaching this oppressive doctrine of MAN and trying to enforce this doctrine, often with no mercy or grace. Please forgive me for pleasing and serving MAN by continuing in the capacity of a teacher, and cast judgements on those I dealt with unjustly.

I was a HYPOCRITE. I had no business teaching. Albeit, as it is a FALSE TEACHING, I still treated people with no respect or compassion at times.

I HATE that I took part in interrogation of the minds of people, and of the marriage beds of members. This was ungodly and devilish! Forgive me for arrogantly lifting myself above you. Forgive me, please, for getting into your personal business- especially of how to raise your children, or concerning very personal issues, and marriages.

Please forgive me for scrutinizing your behavior and what you wore. Please forgive me for doing the bidding of the teachers, counsellors and evangelists- and burdening you with these corrupt judgements. This involves so many years and locations and people, and SITUATIONS, that I don’t know how I will ever make amends with individuals.

Please accept this for the wrongs I have committed against you, and I pray my God will be gracious to me as I have repented of these grievous sins against you all and against Him. Forgive me for teaching a doctrine that is NOT CHRIST and of God, but rather from MAN.

I decided I needed to take this step to be able to continue my journey of growth with my Savior. If anyone has ought against me, PLEASE CONTACT ME. You can PM me
on FB and I will give you my contact information.

THIS IS A CULT AND I AM SORRY AND ASHAMED I EVER WORKED TO BRING ANYONE INTO IT!

If I could go back to everyone I have every ‘taught’ these hypocrisies- I would share with them that THIS SECT is not portraying the TRUE AND LIVING GOD.

There IS a Great God in heaven! He is my redeemer. He brought me up out of a HORRIBLE PIT. He is merciful. He does not condemn or cast judgement or scrutinize. He loves us while we are yet sinners.

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By Kevin|2019-04-30T09:49:22-06:00September 19th, 2016|Uncategorized|3 Comments

About the Author: Kevin

Writer, imperfect Jesus-follower, cryptocurrency fan, marketer. Passionate about liberty, faith, family, marriage, foster care, and adoption. $BTC $DGB

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Donna Bennum

8 years ago

For clarity sake, God has been leading me to take this step for my own healing , as well as to make amends for the err of my ways while in the SCOC. Please do not feel compelled to do the same UNLESS your heart leads you there. This is not a "precedent" ( I heard that word used. To many times in my 36 years.
May our Great God lead you to peace as I have found. My prayers are with all of you on your individual journeys.

Kevin

8 years ago

Reply to Donna Bennum

Good point, Donna. Thank you!

Seeking...

7 years ago

Donna, I am glad you have found peace. In reading this and your story, you mentioned the word HOSTAGE. Just today I was telling my hubby that I felt we needed some therapy, maybe with an elder from a church we are considering joining. We feel like we're going through a separation after an abusive relationship! As I was on my way out of Merie's church, I was told by a preacher's wife to consider that ALL who were on here and left the church were now wandering, lost, and that Kevin's blog was full of "fair" words but he… Read more »

"This needed to be said Kevin, thank you. I believe you are getting to heart of the problem in the church. Instead of a Christian being allowed to exercise their own conscience, the conscience of a few people living in South Carolina and California is forced upon the entire brotherhood." ~Anonymous

"Great blog, Kevin. I'm originally from Stanton (I remember you being a young boy there). I Spent almost twenty years in the church seeing many of the things you speak about but keeping them in the back of my mind, and doubting my own feelings that something wasn't right.

"This constant gossiping was so confusing because it was OK for teachers to talk about people, but no one else to even question actions of a teacher. Being outside of that influence and away from the constant intimidation, it is so much more clear. There was no love or understanding. I'm sure most, except for the leaders, know something is wrong if they would just be honest with themselves. I regret so much putting my children through this more than I regret putting myself through it.

"I'm just glad I left. No need for being bitter toward anyone because it was my choice to be there and stay there. Keep up the good work." ~Loraine Forshee

I have read every word of this blog… I spent many hours/days reading… Feeling so sick inside… I felt so grateful to find this blog." ~Anonymous

"I left the group because I realized that what the group taught and what God teaches were often-not always-vastly different. I had to make a choice; stay out of fear, obligation, because of relationships, or leave so I could continue to follow Christ. I left. You know, one thing I heard A LOT while in the group is that “fallen away ones” are always longing to come back into the group.” At the time I believed it, but I just haven’t found it to be true! If it were, there would be plenty of people flocking back, and it isn’t happening. I have been in contact with quite a few who have left, and not one of us has thoughts about going back. Ever." ~Debby Stevens

"What’s ironic is that we point these things out to them only for them to ignore, dismiss and scoff at the blog both publicly in talks or sermons, and among themselves in secret. For you leaders and members of the SCOC who still read this blog, it’s one thing to dismiss the dissenters, but when you have people in your own ranks parroting the SAME EXACT PROBLEMS we talk about here (some of whom don’t even read the blog yet they see the same things we do), it may be time to consider your ways instead of having “unity” (conformity) meetings trying to ignore it." ~Advocate for Peace

"I too am a current member in 'good standing' in the church. I read the blog and I know of two other current members who also read it. I am sure you're wondering why in the world I would still be attending after reading all of this. Honestly, I am weak and just don't have the courage to leave because of family members who are still involved. Because of the threat of withdrawal for murmuring it's impossible to ask others what they think of the blog posts and videos. I am sure I will leave someday, I'm just not quite ready." ~Anonymous

"I'm currently a member in "good standing" in the church. I read the blog, even though its frowned upon. I can't begin to tell you how closely the comments and personal testimonies align and match what's happening in the church. You read something here, and it opens your eyes to that behavior now. so that when you see it happening, you instantly think about who it happened to here on this blog, and you know the damage it causing." ~Anonymous

"I’m not giving up on God like they believe I’m lost now. I’m so glad I found this blog. It helped open my eyes to what I was a part of for TOO long." ~Not going back

“I have tried the pharisaic plan, and the monastic. I was once so straight, that, like the Indian’s tree, I leaned a little the other way. And however much I may be slandered now as seeking “popularity” or a popular course, I have to rejoice that to my own satisfaction, as well as to others, I proved that truth, and not popularity, was my object; for I was once so strict a Separatist that I would neither pray nor sing praises with any one who was not as perfect as I supposed myself. In this most unpopular course I persisted until I discovered the mistake, and saw that on the principle embraced in my conduct, there never could be a congregation or church upon the earth.” Alexander Campbell

“If you can’t counter it in your heart, you will be affected. A lot of people say, ‘Gary you’re just trying to censor people from their God-given right to look at whatever it is that they’re going to look at.’ Go ahead and look at it. But I can only say to you, be admonished, and be well-versed. If you’re not having the ability to counter whatever it is that comes your way. Or all of a sudden someone comes and says something, and it hooks you in, you’re lured in with hook, line, and sinker, you have no one to thank but yourself. Our admonition is not to forbid anyone from doing anything, unless it’s a sin.” Gary Preman

Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Stanton is full of feminism. Every woman who speaks in church besides prayers and song requests and who teaches Bible classes is a feminist. And the sad fact is the feminists have complete control of…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Yes, and do the women stay silent in the churces? Do they only teach women’s classes and children’s classes under the supervision of righteous men? No, they never have in the history of Stanton. How a…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?One of the reasons why women speaking in Bible Classes is such a great evil is because the Bible Classes become gigantic Safe Spaces for women’s deceived feelings. So if you say something that the wom…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?God had very good reasons for commanding women to remain silent in the church. From Robert Briffault’s book, “The Mothers” “Civilisation, as it presents itself in humanity’s power of control over natu…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Merie taught women correctly, to stay home, have a lot of children, don’t have televisions in your home, be a dutiful wife. But, she also taught them, by her example, to rebel against God’s order and…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?“Our whole country stinks of Money, of desire for money and for what money can buy. We even rate the size and worth of a man by the amount of his income. To get money, there are few of us left who wou…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Another fabulous article by Lori Alexander. Godly women are QUIET women. One paragraph jumps out. “ How are godly women to behave in the churches? “Let the women learn in silence with all subjection.…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?On Election Day, let it be noted that women being allowed to vote and speak in the churches has been a disaster for America, and that both ideas didn’t exist in America just 124 years ago. Both partie…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Very interesting. I’m reading the 50 volume set of the Harvard Classics, which is better than any college education, and which can be obtained for a fraction of the price, (it includes parts of the Bi…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?It is difficult to understand. A woman who was a saint in so many areas, yet, who rebelled against God’s order for women. Kind of similar to one of the most famous women from early America, Anne Hutch…
anony on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?I have a hard time with this because I feel the examples you gave of righteous individuals that fell into sinful behavior all brought forth evidence of repentance. Meri died in her unbiblical state. A…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Thank you for your question. It puzzles me as well. How can a woman who was so good in so many areas be bad when it comes to women speaking publicly? There has been so much damage caused to marriages…
anony on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?can I ask you a question truth defender…. you speak soo much about how merie Weiss was sooo contrary and rebellious to the will and order of God for women in his kingdom, yet will call her righteous a…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?“How dreadful when right judge judges wrong” wrote Sophocles in his splendid and profound play, “Antigone.” Why? Because of all humans, it is hardest to correct a good person commonly. It’s easy to co…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?It’s sad that not a single woman in Stanton was ever taught God’s order, that she is to remain quiet in the church, and to prioritize her husband, children, and home. They can sing and ask prayer requ…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Instead of being a teacher in Bible classes and teaching men, why don’t women teachers in Stanton teach their own children, teach other women under Godly men’s supervision, and teach children’s classe…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?In 1920, due to Jewish intrigues, women were given the right to vote, which was a disaster for them and America. It was part of a Jewish socialist agenda, which says a woman is a unit of society, NOT…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Merie taught me a lot of excellent things. But, she never taught the primary duty of women, to be a Keeper at Home. Merie never learned to be a Keeper at home herself. The paid preacher system was far…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Comment on Gab, over 11,000 views. “Consider the thousands of conflicts between men because wives have been asserting their mistaken ideas publicly, and when another man corrects them, the wife goes t…
Truth Defender on Here’s Joe Gautreau’s letter of withdrawal…where do I start?Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. Sadly, a little leaven leavens the whole lump. It’s sad that 20% of the women in Stanton who insist…

Confessions from Donna Bennum