My name is Tracy Gautreau and I was a member of the Stanton, Chino and San Antonio Church of Christ for nearly 30 years before I left in November of 2005. Where to begin?
I was baptized in December of 1977 into the Stanton Church of Christ. I was 17 years old, believed in God, but was totally ignorant of the Bible and had never heard of the Church of Christ before. I was dating my boyfriend John Gautreau at the time. John was baptized 6 months after me and we were married in December of 1978.
In 1983 we had 2 sons and moved to Chino CA to help start the church there. 1996-now with 9 children, we left our home and moved to San Antonio, TX to help the congregation there. Here we would have our 10th and last child.
John and I would be teacher and preacher to this congregation and in 2005 we would be withdrawn from for murmuring and ultimately leave after being forbidden to make our confession to return to fellowship. In the nearly 30 years that I was a part of this group, I was withdrawn from twice. The first in 1985 for causing division. I disagreed with the teaching that in order for a man to stand before the congregation on Sunday that he must wear a suit jacket and tie, as well as the teaching that women must have their feet covered (re: no sandals without stockings under them).
Again in March of 2005 for murmuring. John and I had attended the March week (May week in March) in Alabama. There were things being taught that I did not feel that I could teach in San Antonio (re: that Christians could not buy sparkling grape juice (appearance of evil), that Christians could not go to tanning booths (youthful lust, but tanning creams were ok), that women and girls could not wear thong underwear (as was said by one of the evangelists: one would have to have the mind of a stripper to wear such a thing).
I spoke with Kim Smith at that meeting and told her that I could not teach these things in San Antonio, as I felt they were opinions and not law. Also at the meeting it was discussed publicly concerning activities we could or could not allow our children to participate in (paintball was one). I went up to the microphone and said that lists are endless, and that as parents, we should be able to discern these issues for ourselves and make up our own minds for our own children).
Needless to say this did not go over well, and combined with my disagreements on the other issues, both John and I were sat down. I suppose John was sat down because he agreed with me. Gary Preman came to TX and discovered that we had NOT spoken of our disagreements to anyone in the congregation and therefore we were not withdrawn from. However, we were, what I can only describe as “shunned.” For about 3 months or so we were not really spoken to or even said hello to, which I had never experienced before.
Some brethren felt quite free to speak of us behind our backs, which was very hurtful. Deeply confused and hurt, I called Kim Smith and was told that I should not need encouragement. I was (I am not proud to say) quite emotional and complained to my son and my daughter in law. My daughter in law felt what was being done and said about us was wrong, went to Kim and was reproved herself. Shortly thereafter both John and I were withdrawn from for murmuring.
During this 8 months of sitting down and being withdrawn from, I decided that I needed to go back to the basics and read the gospel as if I had never read it before; to read it with a mind void of the influence and understandings of others. I saw a gospel that I had quoted for years, but my eyes had been blinded to.
I decided to start with the life of Christ…God coming to this earth and preaching for a mere 3 years….what is the main message to mankind? I found love, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, humility, goodness, kindness, reproof to those religious zealots that looked down on others in their own self righteousness, those who bound man, made rules on others, and taught them as if they were the law of God. I was reproved to my very core.
For nearly 30 years I had been teaching, reproving, gossiping, despising, judging…because this is what I had been taught by example to do. I was deeply ashamed of myself, because I alone am responsible for what I had done and allowed myself to become. I thought that maybe when I came back, after I had been quiet for awhile (because there is a political correctness to all of this), that I could begin to share what I had learned about love and what Christianity is really all about.
I learned that for years, I had set man on a throne that belongs only to God; that I had feared and lived for man, and lost sight of God. I was ashamed of all of the people I had hurt over the years, all of those I despised in my heart because they were not doing well according to mans standards. Ashamed that I did not know so many of my brethren, because I had spent so much time judging them and teaching them, that I was no longer a student.
I learned that the only reason I had been so hurt by what others did and said, was because I had given them power over me. If God had truly been my King, and the only one I looked to, it would not matter what others said of me, or thought of me. I would have had the spiritual maturity to confront them about what they had said and leave it there. I would know that whatever others said and thought of me does not define me.
I was ready to make my confession. I went and spoke with the new teacher and preacher and shared with them what I had learned. They said it sounded good, and they would get back with me. After counseling with Kim and Gary, they asked me where I was with the issues that I did not agree on. I told them that I was not withdrawn from for disagreeing on judgments, but for murmuring in regard to what had transpired while I was sitting down. They told me that I needed more time to think about the issues I disagreed with.
By this time, I knew that God is my King, and if He says to repent and confess, then that is what I need to do. My not seeing eye to eye with them on judgments was not a part of my withdrawal and therefore it was not scriptural to keep me on withdrawal for something I was not withdrawn from for.
I told them I would stand to make my confession and let the congregation decide. Of course, they would not allow me to make my confession and I left. I did send out my confession to the members, and of course they were instructed not to read it. I left that night not knowing where I would go, but God in his goodness and love guided me and continues to do so each and every day.
It has taken me a long time to share my story, most notably because I prefer to look forward and move on with my life than to look back and relive it over and over again. I have learned that what others say about me does not affect my life and that I can live before God and be thankful He alone is my judge. If others get off on speaking ill of me, than by all means go at it…because it does not affect my eternity nor change my happiness.
This life is so much bigger than the small little bubble I was in for so many years. This life is a journey and what has transpired has changed me for the better. I do not want this to be a story about me, because in reality my life story is about HIM…my God, my Savior, my Deliverer, my hope, my Anchor, my Redeemer…my Everything. It is my prayer, that each one of us will look to Him and to Him alone.
Grace–a word so frequently mentioned in the Bible that we cannot deny it–but I had no idea what it meant, how powerful it is, and how deeply I must rely on it each and every day! I have learned, by God’s loving hand, that I cannot work my way into heaven or somehow earn my salvation. Christ is enough! What I do, I do because of thankfulness! Grace does not exclude works…it merely excludes the merits of works.
My confidence is not in myself…how could it be?? I am never good enough! My confidence is in Him and Him alone…in his goodness, his mercy, his forgiveness…his love for me. There is peace and comfort that overwhelms my soul in this understanding. I have learned that man can only oppress me when I give them that power. There are no words, no schemes, no devices or weapons formed by the mind of man that can hurt our soul as long as our eyes are fixed upon Him alone.
When I left, I knew no one. God led us to the Bulverde Church of Christ and we were nurtured in the love of God. For the last few years we have been attending Oak Hills Church. My worship is truly worship. It is all about HIM and giving HIM my praise and glory. Never will I give that to a man again.
My story is not finished, and like you, I am a continual work in progress. I ask that you have patience with me, just as I will with you…because we are all just a snapshot in time, and what you see today, will not be what you see in 5 years. Hopefully in 5 years I will be more beautiful within, more like my Maker.
My past has been an important part of my future. It is a vital part of who I am becoming. I do not like to look back and dwell on all that was done wrong to me, just as I hope others will not dwell on all I have done wrong to them. Forgiveness goes a long way and we all are in need of it, so lets practice the art of giving it, especially to those who never ask us for it. <3
Hello Tracy and John! Long time no see!! I am so glad you have truly found Christ the Lord ! We both began our journey about the same time. Met you and John before you married in Stanton at a November meeting. I came out to Midland Texas with the Washington's.
Thank you Teresa..I pray all is well with you.
Tracy, i cant tell you how your beautiful words have touched me. I have always looked to you as a good example and I am so thankful that you have chosen to share your story. It is a story I was hoping would be told because I knew what had happened to you and John was wrong, VERY wrong. As so many writers have expressed in the thousands of blog comments and as Kevin so eloquently writes in his posts, the SCOC is awash in manmade doctrine, unjust punishment and pharisitical behavior. I am inspired by your Christlike attitude about… Read more »
Why thank you..whoever you are 🙂 God is good and I am always thankful! One of my greatest sorrows is that I do not have the close relationship with my oldest son as I once did. Joseph is a wonderful man, husband and father and I am incredibly proud of him. My grandchildren (14 of them now) are the joy of my life <3..It is always my prayer that the scales can fall from our eyes and that we all can see only Him. Maybe one day…until then we have to let the love of God shine through us as… Read more »
Tracy! So glad to hear from you and that you and John are doing so well! 🙂I never agreed with your withdrawal, but in Lakeland, Fl we didn't get a lot of the details. I remembered you and John as being a loving couple and loving Christians. We were so glad to have you visit when you did, it gave me hope that the group could change. When I heard about your withdrawal, I made my heart heavy because I knew that you two had been made to be quiet. When you left, a little bit of my hope that… Read more »
Thank you Debby. It is good to hear from you and I hope you are doing well and growing in the grace of our Lord. Leaving the SCOC was never an overnight decision. It was a conclusion that in order to worship God in truth and with a good conscience, that I would have to do. When you disagree with the SCOC you literally have 3 options: submit, withdrawal/ shunning or leave and find God…I choose the latter, and am so thankful that I did! Christianity is more that I could have ever hoped for and fills me with a… Read more »
Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your story. I never knew the details. Isn't it wonderful how God can use all of our years in bondage to man-made doctrine , and turn it around to FREE us and show us that He is so much more than the partial picture we had been taught? I know your words will help someone. May we keep praying for those still in bondage. We do have something to shout from the rooftops! God is marvelous!
thank you Donna. I am so happy for you as well! God is good always. When you have a works based salvation, there are only one of two options we become: one..a self righteous, prideful individual who looks down on others who do not live up to our standard…or two: someone who is always fearful, depressed, because you know you are never good enough and are always afraid you will miss out on heaven no matter how hard you try. The freedom of grace is that we strive to please God from a place of thankfulness and take great comfort… Read more »
Thank you for your words, Tracy Gautreau. I met you and your husband when you visited Tacoma.
When I left, because of the ways that are being discussed here, I thought I was the only one, until I found this site and read all of the stories, like yours and even to see older ones here saying the same things.
In all of this, I could never understand how Christians could treat the children of God like this and think it is justified.
thank you Lynn. Back in 1983 we almost moved to Tacoma, but went to Chino instead. What we see in the SCOC is nothing new in the history of mankind. We see it in the times of Jesus, where the religious ones wanted to silence God himself and did so by having him nailed to the cross. We see it politics, in wars, in divorces, in neighbors when they feud etc. It is the nature of man to somehow want power over others, to slander someone else in order to dismiss them in the eyes of others, to twist someones… Read more »
Amen Tracy!
Tracy, I was first baptized in 1983, when I was 17. After a few years I left because of the actions and teachings of the teachers and preachers. When I cam back, around 1990, I studied a lot and listened to a lot of tapes. I grew very quickly, in understanding, and I began to see exactly what you are conveying in what the fruits of the Holy Spirit are vs the power of man. People were quick to tell you what to do, give advice, and/or correct you, but was very lax in being there for their brethren, which… Read more »
Thank you Tracy for sharing your story with everyone. The Spirit of Christ is very apparent in you, and I just pray, like you, that the scales can fall from the eyes of those who are still blinded by "teaching for doctrines the commandments of men."
I wish all the teachers and preachers and friends we once knew could see these things and come back to fellowship with us. Perhaps in time.
I pray for that almost every day.
We can pray. God knows the hearts of men and works in ways we do not see. So we continue on in this life and hope that maybe one day we can all have hearts that continually seek Him and only His glory. He is so amazing that it is laughable when we exalt and fear men. God is so much bigger than we can ever imagine ��
Amen, Tracy.
Terry Smith2 hrs · 1 Peter 3:15-1715 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. NIVToday as I got ready to leave the place of one of our suppliers one of the men behind the counter stop me and ask if I had time to help him… Read more »
Tracy I was just re-reading your post and found the part where you said you went back over the gospels. As I read it, I realized you must have seen some of the same things that I did.You see, I did what Kevin has suggested ones do-I re-read the bible in another version. And so many parts hit me that did not sound familiar! I had to go back and read over those again, it sure put things into a much different light!Of course I compared what I was reading to the KJV, and found that it really did say… Read more »
Hi Tracy, I've known you ever since I was a twinkle in my fathers eye:). My parents used to ride with you to classes when you all were babes. They still tell us how you liked the Beatles:). Anyhow, thank you for being part of Stanton. I had a beautiful childhood, and I really appreciate all the sacrifices you and many others made to join a church when you knew you were going to be ostracized from family an friends. The environment in the church was awesome. My good attributes I attribute to Stanton and God. Your oldest son was… Read more »
Well of course I know who this is 🙂 I also have fond memories of your childhood…I have home movies of you and your brother with my son Joseph when I took you all to the zoo 🙂 Time goes by so fast! I am glad you have good memories, as do my children, which makes me very happy. There are however, many things I wish I could go back as a parent and do differently. I wish I knew then what I do now. I would teach them the love and goodness of God, so as to provoke them… Read more »
I didn't know that my Dad married you Tracy:). Wow!! If there is any way you can share that movie, that would be great. Joseph and I met in interesting fashion in 2015:). LOL. Reminded me of the Fox and the Hound. Never thought one day when I grew up I'd be able to relate to that children's movie so much. Yes, the happy memories will be with me until my grave. Some things are too valuable to be appraised with money, and the joy I had there was wonderful. I heard that good judgement comes from experience and experience… Read more »
Awesome story! Thank you so much for sharing it! I'm sure you have heard of my father…he preached in Stanton, Eugene, and Pensacola.
"When you have a works based salvation, there are only one of two options we become: one..a self righteous, prideful individual who looks down on others who do not live up to our standard…or two: someone who is always fearful, depressed, because you know you are never good enough and are always afraid you will miss out on heaven no matter how hard you try. ". Very well put.
Thank you Tracy, I was in the Spring Valley Church of Christ. Baptized in 1974. My wife and I went to Corpus Christi Texas to help start a congregation there. In 1980 I was withdrawn from for "false teaching", I was never told what the false teaching was. Due to the church teachings, my wife and I had a total of 5 children, my wife was told by doctors no more children as they were all cesarean sections. I was very hurt and lost after I was "rejected" by the church. I read a book by Eric Hoffer called "The… Read more »
Amen, brother. Very well said. I'm so glad you found hour way out of the group. You probably knew my parents, Freda and Jerry Harper. I was born I. '68 and that's about when Stanton was started in their home. But my mom in particular would take me to Spring Valley as often as she could to hear Merie.
Anon 4:57: I am very interested in your story. The CC congregation joined up with the Odessa congregation and they now make up the SA congregation. There's still a few people from CC there. Some left or were withdrawn from but eventually came back. But you'll find they are still the same in many ways. There is a serious lack of love in SA! And as you'll read here, there are still no elders in any congregation so the judgments n man-fearing of preachers and teachers continues. I left recently. Please tell me this place isn't still haunting you after… Read more »
It is true that many are haunted by Stanton, but in reality, one should not be haunted by any mere mortals, especially those who are so clearly teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. Remember Psalm 118:6 – The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? But yes, Stanton's extreme legalism and their adamant claim to exclusivity in the sight of God can be haunting—until you set your mind to diligently seek truth. Stanton preys on those who don't know their scriptures—ironically, just like they accuse other religious groups of doing. Matthew… Read more »
Hello Anon at 4:51! I was in the Portland congregation from 1985-89, when I moved to Florida to help start the congregation in Lakeland. I probably knew you and your wife.
I am so glad that you have found your way out of the group, and that you realized the grave lack of love there! I know 1Corinthians 13 is well known, but it amazes me that the group doesn't seem to understand that that scripture applies to teachers, preachers, and evangelists alike, not just it's "regular" members!
Welcome here! Glad to have you, and your posts too!
Kevin thank you for your elaboration on how it's haunting. Hopefully anon has no more connections there. It's harder when you do, as Craig and I and many others do. I, for one, need to be reminded of God's love and mercy im order to strive to serve him outside Merie's church. Yesterday we met with very humble elders who prayed earnestly with us. It felt so good to be around scriptural authority in its correct place. To see sincere humility at that level just amazed me. I am a bit in tears thinking how I was fooled for so… Read more »
Wow, thank you for sharing, Seeking. That is very powerful, to be praying with actual elders for the first time. God bless!
Interesting anon 4:51 you were never told your offense of what they claim you were teaching falsely. I was falsely withdrawn from being a nonmember though they decided to play games with me and claim after 4 months of being a nonmember in all actuality I've always been a nonmember my offense they claim being murmuring and sowing seeds of discord I have not been giving explanation of what was said by me even though it should be none of their concern meddling in my business being a none member. It all could be hearsay for all they know the… Read more »
Craig, you brought up an interesting point about the leaders in Portland getting their facts wrong. In my experience, it was a very common event. Many rebukes were put out based on miscommunications-whether intended or not. A lot was surmised as to motives and what else 'might' be going on, yet they were presented as facts. Not just against me, but many others as well.I remember the scripture in which Paul says we are not to evil surmise, and I see that he gave NO exceptions, not even for leaders. Yet the group seems to believe that the end justifies… Read more »
I know that AZ and Portland have different views/rules on their man made rules.. During my time in the church AZ left me alone and they were very kind.. Portland drove me nuts.. Always asumming things and thinking they know best.. I'm not a child.. just because one teacher sees things one way does not make them right..I got tired of the bossing around and thinking they knew everything, as things were in no way the way they were seeing things.. Then they try to convince you that they are the way they see them! .. Now I honestly can… Read more »
Curious after reading Tracy's story which I too would like to say thank you. Tracy or anyone else that may know which evangelist made the comment "one would have to have the mind of a stripper to wear such a thing" concerning a thong. What a stupid comment and if it's a present day evangelist he will be supported for life. Wow
Metaphors and similes are comparisons and fall under figurative writing and with them it makes the written word come alive. Consider Pr 5:18 Where it says let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice wit the wife of thy youth; a wife is comparable to a fountain of water, that is, both bring life into the mans life and to fully understand what a treasure a wife is consider what is said about other female partners i.e. the strange woman (a fornicator), an adulteress, and a whore and that is: nothing good. Only a female partner who is a wife brings… Read more »
Not sure of your point, and if you are defending SCOC's doctrines or not. Are you a member of the SCOC, or a mainline COC?
Ex SCOC member and what I was trying to address can be called "uncorking." In my experience when someone is under oppression it is like a bottle of carbonated liquid that is being shaken up and when they free themselves from the oppression it is like uncorking the bottle and the internals go everywhere. I have seen more than one person leave the oppression of the SCOC and then go off into alcohol abuse or drug abuse and worse; because as members of the SCOC we were not taught self control rather we were controlled by our teachers and preachers… Read more »
Anon 1:11 I agree on uncorking. Years ago I was withdrawn from and I uncorked- went into a sinful life. But that was because I believed there was no other church that I could go to. So I went the other way. I think the lesson for me this time leaving is that I WILL find God elsewhere. I CAN have a relationship. I allowed their one true church to make me think I'm going to hell, so I acted as if I were. That is what is so dangerous about that teaching. They give people NO HOPE outside of… Read more »
It is amazing the ICC has an ex member website like this one that mentions many of the same issues that are mentioned here; it is EXICC.org. It does mention many of the same techniques and a few different ones I have not heard of as well, very interesting website.
I also found reveal.org has ex ICOC stories. Yes it's amazing the similarities in the treatment of its members.
Anon 1:11 do you believe being baptized into Merie's cult makes you a Christian? If so please explain how if you will. If not no worries. I do not see how it could. There very own teaching would make there baptisms null and void. They are baptized into Merie's church not Christs body. They have only put on the doctrines and commandments of men not Christ. They as the say a Baptist baptized in that religion is a baptist. They are only followers of Merie.
I believe that if a person repents of their sins and believes that Jesus is the Son of God when they are baptized they are added to the church; Christ's body, not a specific congregation but the collective body of repentant believers. When I was baptized I knew almost nothing about the church or Jesus or living Christianity but I did want to follow Jesus and the Bible. I don't remember who baptized me but whether they were righteous or unrighteous at the time they baptized me or whether the congregation (including it's teachings) was righteous or unrighteous at the… Read more »
I want to add to the above post that when I was baptized I had never heard of Merie. I went to a class where the Bible class was taught and I wanted to be a Christ follower so I was baptized. It wasn't long after I was baptized that I wad told about Merie and was given her tapes to listen to but my conversion had nothing to do with her except for the fact I was taught by one of her converts but I was only taught the basics. If I say I was not added to the… Read more »
For myself I know what I was taught was true and right and I have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit today. The people of God, that is the Christians, are identified by their behavior and not by a lineage as was the Jews. John 13:35 by this all men shall know ye are my disciples if you have love one for another. Love is the identifying behavior of Christians and the lack of love (or hatred) is the identifying mark of a dead Christian or dead church. God accepts those who love others; and the church, the called out… Read more »
I'm not sure what you mean by the very last sentence Annon 1:54. Who are you referring to when you say 'the old dying merie group'? Are you referring to current members in good standing with merie's group or people who have left because they disagree with how it's run?
Also, i agree with what you said about love vs our lineage being the identifying mark of a Christian (christ follower). Very good point.
Who shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit? Could the answer be only the people taught by, and baptized by a group of people who have been in gross error numerous times during the past 50 years (they will even admit their errors) and yet they judge that all outsiders are destined for hell and the people outsiders baptize are just getting wet because they, the outsiders, are in gross error. That makes no sense at all does it? I want God to decide who gets the Holy Spirit since he's the only one giving it. As a side… Read more »
Excellent, excellent points in this thread. We are not baptized into a congregation or network of congregations…that is sectarianism at its worst. We are baptized into the spiritual body of Christ.
I agree with 11:26 wholeheartedly about baptism. I don't think all these re-baptisms based on whether there were additional concerns (did it for mom, etc) should be done. If one believes the basics, it is fine. People constantly being questioned before getting baptized is out of hand too. There's so much judgment by leaders about this that we have seen people told to leave and think about it. That's not what was being done in the bible. Also, in the COC I attend, I was just asked if my baptism was repent, believe, confess, immersion. They accepted it. Because it… Read more »
Well said Seeking!!! You are exactly right! It has been 11 years since I left, and I still find myself being judgmental at times, and wanting to cling to legalities! It has taken a lot of work to get to where I am now, and I sure do not want to go back!For awhile, I kept a journal-to record all of the hurts and wrongs done to me and by me. That way the "ugly" things could be out of my head and onto paper instead. It benefited me to write things down, because then it was as though I… Read more »
I think what is really hitting the mark when I was thinking I was a member is that I was following a church and not Christ. A Christian follows Christ not man that really simplifies it for me. I also found interesting what was mentioned. Anon 4:14 I had never heard that only children of Merie's cult would go to heaven if they die.
Craig, I'm not sure if there are members who still believe that only member's children go to heaven. I heard it long ago and was shocked.
In Phoenix, the wife of the Mercedes mechanic, started teaching that heresy at Sunday fellowships saying that all children that die outside the SCOC go to hell because the scripture says that all the nations outside of Isreal die and go to hell and that includes the children of those nations. The wife of the Mercedes Mechanic is a woman without natural affection and was oppressive first toward children then when given the authority of a teacher toward her brethren. The wife of the Mercedes mechanic was one of the church babysitters who physically abused children during babysitting and taught… Read more »
The wife of the Mercedes was withdrawn from within the past 2 years for oppression and has since 'made herself right'. Not sure on the exact dates. Hopefully she learned some lessons and isn't so abusive. It doesn't surprise me that she taught that children outside of the church die and go to hell; she is of the 'old guard' going way back.
Craig, what is your conversion story if I may ask. How did you come across the church? Did you know what you were getting into when you were baptized? I would guess the majority of baptisms now are children raised in the church and they know what they are getting into; of course they are used to the way the church operates and most have family in the church actively attending. The church allows the newly baptized people some space to add on all the classes and personal work etc., even those who were raised in the church, but the… Read more »
I am happy if the wife of the mercedes Mechanic has stopped her wicked ways but the damaged she has done still exists. I have a twenty year old daughter that is an avowed atheist due to the abuse she suffered from the wife of the Mercedes mechanic. In 2002 my daughter, age six, said there is no God because if there was he would stop this woman from abusing us at babysitting. I only found out about this abuse years later when my daughter was a teenager. The wife of the mercedes mechanic, a woman who sat at Meries… Read more »
Stories such as yours anon 9:21 need to continue to be told so this awful cult can be stopped. Though I'm sure it's difficult to share. I'll be looking into different media avenues to warn society about them. Amazing how FB has lead me to people who would be interested in getting their hands on the story of this cult and expose them. Child abuse is horrible. I can't believe members would go unpunished by law enforcement. Concerning anon 8:18 questions. My mother in law became a member sometime before I met her daughter which was in 1992. My wife… Read more »
One thing I did learn very well in my time in the SCOC is to expect opposition. I was opposed on almost everything I said, did, or wanted to do. I learned to stop talking about myself, my day, and my life. I learned it was easier to just be present and silent then to give ammunition to the arrogant who love to dominate and control others. I got away with it for a few years but one day the teaching preacher stopped and just looked at me and said I really don't know you. After his realization that I… Read more »
Yup the preacher and teacher want you to talk. Keep talking keep talking yet for what? Like you said anon 4:58. Preacher would talk about one in particular who was a closed book. Probably the smart one though. Why share of yourselves when it will get out to others. One of my regrets sharing personal things that should've remained personal.
Churches and their members are famous for gossip! I share directly to God or my husband. In reading this blog I read so many examples of abuse and dysfunction. Remember you can go to the authorities and report abuse especially when it involves children or CPS. You do not have to go to "counsel" I don't care what they say. Remember God gave us a brain and he expects us to use it!
Couldn't agree more anon 10:07. Yes authorities must be notified when abuse takes place. If I hear of any I will make sure they are notified. Counsel will only sweep it under the rug when it comes to real authority. They may reprove, rebuke or withdraw from the members yet I've read and heard of situations where arrests and jailing of members should've taken place. They hide the evil as they do not want this to be made known to the public. Very evil these dictators are.
Awwwww Tracy just reading your blog. I'm sorry that you were turned away so touching. so are you kids apart of the cult now? of did they save them selves???
I just re-read Tracy's story, and it is so well said. I encourage anyone who hasn't read the stories linked in the left sidebar yet to do so. Very powerful and grace-filled.
So sad!! Her words " I had been teaching, reproving, gossiping, despising, judging…because this is what I had been taught by example to do." this is what I tell my family all the time their "church" teaches. To them there is no loving God or a God full of grace. They know no grace. They show no grace.
This story about the Tracy and John Gautreau is definitely worth your consideration. Such a travesty! It baffles me how anyone could think their withdrawal was justified.